please enjoy my enjoyment joyfully

happy Christmas Eve
Happy times on the birthday of various gods, including my son the energy of life

my birthday
came across this today, my birthday, said by Ramana Maharshi:

"You who wish to celebrate the birthday, seek first whence was your birth. One's true birthday is when he enters That which transcends birth and death -the Eternal Being.

At least on one's birthday one should mlourn one's entry into samsara. To glory in it and celebrate it is like delighting in and decorating a corpse. To seek one's Self and merge in the Self: that is wisdom."

gimmie some erb
august 22 was the crucifiction i think.
the bong in one hand,
the Bhagavadgita in the other
well, not till later.
the internet is dead, yet alive.
beats the hell out of a typewriter though

tommorrow is september ,
my nativity day on Earth
this time

to allow onesself laugh means you will stay sane
and control the mind

positive living
its what you make of it
wondering why its so easy to live with death when its easier not to
one way or another here we are

Ill say on a note, theres a lot of shit in my life i would like to change, but time and change are subject to different variables. i'm riding my life through and trying to crack the code. not happy or sad really. should not drink so much for health reasons. should be doing something creative, but what you are reading is as good as it gets, apart from the live act. I need to be traveling , chiefin, meeting hot women. its something in my dna that will have to come to be. i'm just ridin through ladies. peace and love

tea talk quarter past three
after reading this http://www.slate.com/id/2171917/fr/flyout article I reflected on my own tea drinking habits that I thought I'd share. I prefer tea to coffee because its a more mellow caff buzz. It must be diluted or drank with milk in my opinion. or cream. I drink sweet ice tea in the warm weather. I found today that a splash of brandy makes a fine addition. Currently using Assam mamri tea, raw cane sugar, (and napoleon vsop today). its tea time

its hard
to break the shell of the mind egg
but one must venture beyond there tat atikramya caiva gacchanti i considered trying to blog in Sanskrit

its hard to step out into a weird movie like place where the divine and evil live side by side
drinking .

no dwelling on neccesities here just the cold hard facts of life always seep through. A couple of daydreams. some permissions granted supposedly. Positive thinking etc. I question my life and am generally happy. I have never regretted anything i have done in life seriously. I wouldnt say that lightly. I wouldnt want to start chasing young ladies now. though it ever so easy when you work and study at a university. holy shit. thats all i can say friends.

i have
felt for the first time in several years, i was going mad
i wondered what it would be like, and obviously it would be tailor made for the individual
the 'normal' becomes lost in the throes of the dying thing that is me
such a strange thing
the blog is crytic but it is very real, and i'm glad to have the ride i guess
so quickly it all can go upside down,if you know what i mean , you know what i mean. if you don't , forget this blog and this individual as is inevitable

the joy is gone today
how quickly the high tides come
gasping for meaning
as the water lets out
the human search for perfection is a torture to its own mind and planet
but there is no other way but up ore down it seems
and why should there be

this blog may be shifted to a new name and address
this blog was created and named after hurricane Katrina. smiling bodies meant bodies floating in swollen canals, a show of what america will become in many areas. now i have regressed or digressed or something. the point is, i'm currently in secret talks with my self about what to call such a online distilled essence of my many hours of human existence.

so yes then , is it settled. why do i need a name? i would like to telepathically talk to people , but also not talk to people to. why need a computer? fuck this

Debashish Bhattacarya
Kolkata based is has a wonderful slide guitar raga style, on special guitars he made himself. a real musician. 'Calcutta slide-guitar vol. 3' check it out.

the moment comes crushing fourth
and then leaves,
and you wondered why you thought what you saw to express
made a difference, why should it?
and how could it?
nothing but big plump egos waiting to be forked
in the shade of my time, what a short time it is
better to adapt and devolve

*general announcement- Sahib Teri Bandi/Maki Madni -Derek Trucks Band is an excellent and perhaps trhe only real example of (allmam b`ros.) style of southern blues slide , with ravi shanker inspired riffs. i wish i could upload

i have my macaw
its a beautiful bird
you need something to keep you alive
there is no doubt
sifting through different focuses
the running narration that keeeps the feild of the mind fresh

i do feel at times i live in a zoo lately
squaks and shit insults fly like rain
stain the curtains
wait... i don't have curtains
the minds eye betrays, but not every time
can you spot it, there?

by the way, in the previous post i should have mentioned i forgot to include what i call 'supplemental' alcohol to the figure entered into the test, therefore the information cannot not be considered completely accurate unfortunately.

feelin lazy
about lounging on summer days
not doin much
trying to figure out the universe, the world, the 'nation', my town, my kitchen
hungry but too lazy to eat

I'm determined by this site : http://www.alcoholscreening.org/index.asp to not be an alcoholic but should reduce my intake to keep away potential health problems, if something else doesnt kill me first. a bad samosa in south mumbai. a poisonous snake falling from a tree while i'm driving a convertible, and its dark out.

reading about national anarchy, guenon, john birch society, bildabergs, brandy, and the naughty illuminati. wasting time basically

the hawk flew right over my head this morning. i could almost feel wind from its wings (photo is eagle)

saw
the hawk fly off with a squirrel this morning. I didnt want to get too close and disturb huis eating though

my knee
is sore where i had a big boil during the Kartik 01. right over the bone. another boil. poision. my mind is flipping out. I'm getting a large bird next friday. a talking walking bird. a vegetarian bird of the jungle through born in jacksonville. thus life rolls at a leisurely pace. too leisurely at times i think. maybe thats why im flippin out. old friends in town trying to make me meet people i used to barely know 20 years ago. shit. hiding indoors from the humidity, though it hasnt rained lately. need to clean the birdcage. need to get the bigger cage. life rolls on. this bird will live around 30 years. i will live for many more and then fly

found
the feather of the hawk i watch
i got within a few feet of him or her the other day
i realized it could rip out my eyeballs
well may be not

but i saw the feather walking to pickup my son
didnt pick it up but went back later
probably a chest feather
hope he will look out for me and i'll look out for him
and the Earth will smile

gotta say
last minute's poetry is the best,
the thought you hope someone, including oneself, caught.
or was it entirely different
than how you remembered it?

here
in the worst kind of hell you are forced to act as the demon
unwillingly, with only good intentions
you look like a monster
and feel remorse
though you didn't do anything

meditate here my friend
let your mind rest tonight free
from today and tommorrow
just a passenger here
lookin at the mountaians
lookin at the stars

the whiff of the
smoke of the Peace pipe wafts over the nostrils of 8 nations
i stand above Delphi sifting through waves of stone
wondering why such a little luck
gave me the goddess's touch
we are all just riding through here

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